Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Crisp Criticism - "Pokémon Detective Pikachu", "Long Shot", "UglyDolls", "The Intruder", "Chase"

by
Julien Faddoul





Pokémon Detective Pikachu

In a world where people collect pocket-size monsters (Pokémon) and treat them like cockfighters, a boy comes across one that can talk and seeks to be a detective.
As cynical and disturbing an example of current studio cinema as one could encounter: Yet again another movie designed to indoctrinate the idiot seals who in the case are apparently children of the 90s to slap their fins in unison at the altar that is the never-ending ouroboros of corporate nostalgia. Judging from the first week of receipts, it worked. The plot is a rip-off of Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988), the dialogue is embarrassing, the performances are uncomfortable, the sound design is screeching and the visuals look like vomit.

d – Rob Letterman
w – Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit, Rob Letterman, Derek Connolly, Nicole Perlman   (Based on the Characters Created by Satoshi Tajiri, Ken Sugimori, Junichi Masuda)
ph – John Mathieson
pd – Nigel Phelps
m – Henry Jackman
ed – Mark Sanger, James Thomas
cos – Suzie Harman

p – Satoshi Tajiri, Thomas Tull, Ali Mendes

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith, Kathryn Newton, Bill Nighy, Ken Watanabe, Chris Geere, Suki Waterhouse, Josette Simon, Alejandro De Mesa, Rita Ora, Karan Soni, Max Fincham






Long Shot *

A reporter reunited with his first crush, who happens to be running for President of the United States.
A promising rom-com with intermittent laughs that ultimately succumbs to overlength and the lack of comedic discipline typical of modern-day comedies.

d – Jonathan Levine
w – Dan Sterling, Liz Hannah
ph – Yves Bélanger
pd – Kalina Ivanov
m – Marco Beltrami, Miles Hankins
ed – Melissa Bretherton, Evan Henke
cos – Mary E. Vogt

p – Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen, James Weaver, Beth Kono, Charlize Theron, AJ Dix

Cast: Seth Rogen, Charlize Theron, O'Shea Jackson Jr, June Diane Raphael, Ravi Patel, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Serkis, Randall Park, Tristan D. Lalla, Alexander Skarsgård, Gabrielle Graham, Boyz II Men, Lisa Kudrow, Lil Yachty, Kurt Braunohler, Paul Scheer, Claudia O'Doherty





UglyDolls

An animated adventure in which the free-spirited UglyDolls confront what it means to be different, struggle with a desire to be loved, and ultimately discover who you truly are is what matters most.
Lame animated musical based on a line of plush toys that proclaim the contemptuous and paradoxical message that ugliness and “imperfections” makes one special/unique, despite the fact that their very existence as a mass-produced product requires them to be prearranged. It’s also hampered by the cast, which, for some reason, is mostly contracted with pop-stars who possess zero acting ability.

d – Kelly Asbury
w – Alison Peck, Robert Rodriguez   (Based on the Characters Created by Sun-min Kim, David Horvath)
pd – Shannon Jeffries
m – Christopher Lennertz
ed – Julie Rogers, Nolan Southerland

p – Jane Hartwell, Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Kelly Clarkson, Nick Jonas, Janelle Monáe, Blake Shelton, Pitbull, Emma Roberts, Wanda Sykes, Gabriel Iglesias, Leehom Wang, Charli XCX, Bebe Rexha, Lizzo





The Intruder

A young married couple buy a house on several acres of land only to find out that the man they bought it from refuses to let go of the property.
One of the dumbest psychological thrillers ever made with nonsensical behaviour from every major character, no effective scares, a lacklustre plot twist and a weirdly hypocritical attitude toward guns.

d – Deon Taylor
w – David Loughery
ph – Daniel Pearl
pd – Andrew Neskoromny
m – Geoff Zanelli
ed – Melissa Kent
cos – Seth Chernoff

p – Roxanne Avent, Brad Kaplan, Jonathan Schwartz, Deon Taylor

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Meagan Good, Joseph Sikora, Michael Ealy, Lili Sepe, Debs Howard, Alvina August, Lee Shorten, Carolyn Anderson





Chase *

A hitman must prove his loyalty to his mentor and best friend, while his girlfriend wants to leave the business behind them.
One of those gritty crime films made by people who love a gritty crime film. Nothing particularly new here, with a script that relies too heavily on quotations from other writings to convey what emotional beats mean. But Rossi’s talent is evident and it’d be interesting to see what he could do with a bigger budget.

wd – Michael Matteo Rossi
ph – Jason Weary
pd – Dan Kleba
m – Salil Bhayani
ed – Gehrig Burnett Jr

p – Michael Matteo Rossi, Jane Badler, Katrina Y. Nelson,

Cast: Damien Plucker, Aries Spears, Jessica Morris, Skye Townsend, Richard Riehle, Eli Michael Kaplan


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