Crisp Criticism - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales", "John Wick: Chapter 2", "Baywatch", "It’s Only the End of the World"

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Julien Faddoul

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon.

An already utterly boring series of films has reached here an even lower level of dullness. Not only does it contain zero originality, but nadir fun and excitement. The most concerning aspect here is Depp, who now delivers his lines and expressions with so little energy and dignity that it’s laughable.

d – Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg

w – Jeff Nathanson, Terry Rossio   (Based on the Characters Created by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert)

ph – Paul Cameron

pd – Nigel Phelps

m – Geoff Zanelli

ed – Roger Barton, Leigh Folsom Boyd

cos – Penny Rose

p – Jerry Bruckheimer

Cast: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally, Stephen Graham, Golshifteh Farahani, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom, Martin Klebba

Crisp Criticism - "Alien: Covenant", "Snatched", "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword"

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Julien Faddoul

Alien: Covenant *

The crew of a colony ship, bound for a remote planet, discover an uncharted paradise with a threat beyond their imagination, and must attempt a harrowing escape.

In many ways, a tighter film than Prometheus (2012) with more focus on scares. But, like all of Scott’s films, it ultimately buckles under the weight of the solemn anthology he thrusts upon it and becomes another unsatisfactory franchise film on autopilot.

d – Ridley Scott

w – Dante Harper, Michael Green, John Logan, Jack Paglen   (Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett)

ph – Dariusz Wolski

pd – Chris Seagers

m – Jed Kurzel

ed – Pietro Scalia

cos – Janty Yates

p – David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Michael Schaefer, Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir, Carmen Ejogo, Amy Seimetz, Jussie Smollett, Callie Hernandez, Alexander England, James Franco, Noomi Rapace, Guy Pearce, Uli Latukefu, Goran D. Kleut, Tess Haubrich, Javier Botet, Lorelei King

Crisp Criticism - "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Free Fire", "Get Out", "The Zookeeper's Wife"

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Julien Faddoul

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 *

The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill’s true parentage.

Energetically staged Marvel entry with some stunning visual effects. But we are still stuck in a pit of stagnation here with these movies, which cannot disguise any of the flaws that are intrinsic to their mere existence. The jokes are bad, the plot is flimsy and the performers seem bored.

wd – James Gunn   (Based on the Characters Created by Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning, Steve Englehart, Steve Gan, Jim Starlin, Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby, Bill Mantlo, Keith Giffen)

ph – Henry Braham

pd – Scott Chambliss

m – Tyler Bates

ed – Fred Raskin, Craig Wood

cos – Judianna Makovsky

p – Kevin Feige

Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, Karen Gillan, Michael Rooker, Pom Klementieff, Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone, Sean Gunn, Elizabeth Debicki, Tommy Flanagan, Michael Rosenbaum