Crisp Criticism - "Spider-Man: Homecoming", "The Lost City of Z", "Baby Driver", "The Beguiled"

by

Julien Faddoul

Spider-Man: Homecoming *

Several months after the events of Captain America: Civil War, Peter Parker, with the help of his mentor Tony Stark, tries to balance his life as an ordinary high school student in Queens, New York City while fighting crime as his superhero alter ego Spider-Man as a new threat, the Vulture, emerges.

The third incarnation of this story in 15 years. For this reason, and the usual Marvel movie flaws of tired beats, terrible action and the moronically dogged adherence to fan-service, no amount of nimbleness and charm – not that there is a great deal – can starve off the inborn monotony. Early sequences involving high school antics work the best.

d – Jon Watts

w – Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley, Jon Watts, Christopher Ford, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers   (Based on the Characters by Stan Lee, Steve Ditko)

ph – Salvatore Totino

pd – Oliver Scholl

m – Michael Giacchino

ed – Debbie Berman, Dan Lebental

cos – Lousie Frogley

p – Kevin Feige, Amy Pascal

Cast: Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Robert Downey Jr, Marisa Tomei, Jon Favreau, Gwyneth Paltrow, Zendaya, Donald Glover, Jacob Batalon, Laura Harrier, Tony Revolori, Bokeem Woodbine, Tyne Daly, Abraham Attah, Hannibal Buress, Kenneth Choi, Selenis Leyva, Angourie Rice, Martin Starr, Garcelle Beauvais, Michael Chernus

Crisp Criticism - "Transformers: The Last Knight", "Despicable Me 3", "Okja", "The House"

by

Julien Faddoul

Transformers: The Last Knight

In the absence of Optimus Prime, a battle for survival has commenced between the human race and the Transformers.

A bad movie for all the reasons exhibited in the previous installments. Totally incomprehensible.

d – Michael Bay

w – Akiva Goldsman, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Ken Nolan

ph – Jonathan Sela

pd – Jeffrey Beecroft

m – Steve Jablonsky

ed – Roger Barton, Adam Gerstel, Debra Neil-Fisher, John Refoua, Mark Sanger, Calvin Wimmer

cos – Lisa Lovaas

p – Ian Bryce, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Don Murphy, Tom De Santo

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Gemma Chan, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, John DiMaggio, Jess Harnell, Laura Haddock, Jerrod Carmichael, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Hopkins, Stanley Tucci, Santiago Cabrera

Crisp Criticism - "Rough Night", "The Promise", "All Eyez on Me", "The Book of Henry"

by

Julien Faddoul

Rough Night

Five best friends from college reunite 10 years later for a wild bachelorette weekend in Miami. Then they accidentally kill a male stripper.

Lazy and unfunny with a lot of screaming and no composed humor. A typical Hollywood comedy for today. It being centered around the female gender makes zero difference.

d – Lucia Aniello

w – Lucia Aniello, Paul W. Downs

ph – Sean Porter

pd – Ryan Heck

m – Dominic Lewis

ed – Craig Alpert

cos – Leah Katznelson

p – Lucia Aniello, Paul W. Downs, Dave Becky, Matthew Tolmach

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Zoë Kravitz, Kate McKinnon, Ilana Glazer, Jillian Bell, Paul W. Downs, Demi Moore, Ty Burrell, Dean Winters

Crisp Criticism - "The Mummy", "Cars 3", "The Hero", "My Cousin Rachel"

by

Julien Faddoul

The Mummy

Though safely entombed in a crypt deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient queen whose destiny was unjustly taken from her is awakened in our current day.

Such an abashedly corporate attempt to start (or reboot) a film franchise that there’s hardly room for a movie to exist. The result is sad and pathetic, as one watches everyone involved beg with all their might to be part of the cool kid’s table, most of all its miscast star.

d – Alex Kurtzman

w – David Koepp, Christopher McQuarrie, Dylan Kussman, Jon Spaihts, Alex Kurtzman, Jenny Lumet

ph – Ben Seresin

pd – Jon Hutman, Dominic Watkins

m – Brian Tyler

ed – Gina Hirsch, Paul Hirsch, Andrew Mondshein

p – Sarah Bradshaw, Sean Daniel, Alex Kurtzman, Chris Morgan

Cast: Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella, Jake Johnson, Courtney B. Vance, Marwan Kenzari, Russell Crowe

Crisp Criticism - "Wonder Woman", "Graduation", "The Last Face", "War Machine"

by

Julien Faddoul

Wonder Woman *

An Amazon princess comes to the world of Man to become the greatest of the female superheroes.

Unremarkable and overlong DC Comic Book movie which, once again, is merely another origin story following the same plot and tonal beats as the surrounding Hollywood cinema, both the comic ones and the melodramatic. The first half contains energy, at least.

d – Patty Jenkins

w – Zack Snyder, Allan Heinberg, Jason Fuchs   (Based on the Characters Created by William Moulton Marston)

ph – Matthew Jensen

pd – Aline Bonetto

m – Rupert Gregson-Williams

ed – Martin Walsh

cos – Lindy Hemming

p – Charles Roven, Deborah Snyder, Zack Snyder, Richard Suckle

Cast: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, Danny Huston, David Thewlis, Connie Nielsen, Elena Anaya, Lucy Davis, Ewen Bremner, Saïd Taghmaoui, Florence Kasumba

Crisp Criticism - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales", "John Wick: Chapter 2", "Baywatch", "It’s Only the End of the World"

by

Julien Faddoul

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon.

An already utterly boring series of films has reached here an even lower level of dullness. Not only does it contain zero originality, but nadir fun and excitement. The most concerning aspect here is Depp, who now delivers his lines and expressions with so little energy and dignity that it’s laughable.

d – Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg

w – Jeff Nathanson, Terry Rossio   (Based on the Characters Created by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert)

ph – Paul Cameron

pd – Nigel Phelps

m – Geoff Zanelli

ed – Roger Barton, Leigh Folsom Boyd

cos – Penny Rose

p – Jerry Bruckheimer

Cast: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally, Stephen Graham, Golshifteh Farahani, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom, Martin Klebba

Crisp Criticism - "Alien: Covenant", "Snatched", "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword"

by

Julien Faddoul

Alien: Covenant *

The crew of a colony ship, bound for a remote planet, discover an uncharted paradise with a threat beyond their imagination, and must attempt a harrowing escape.

In many ways, a tighter film than Prometheus (2012) with more focus on scares. But, like all of Scott’s films, it ultimately buckles under the weight of the solemn anthology he thrusts upon it and becomes another unsatisfactory franchise film on autopilot.

d – Ridley Scott

w – Dante Harper, Michael Green, John Logan, Jack Paglen   (Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett)

ph – Dariusz Wolski

pd – Chris Seagers

m – Jed Kurzel

ed – Pietro Scalia

cos – Janty Yates

p – David Giler, Walter Hill, Mark Huffam, Michael Schaefer, Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir, Carmen Ejogo, Amy Seimetz, Jussie Smollett, Callie Hernandez, Alexander England, James Franco, Noomi Rapace, Guy Pearce, Uli Latukefu, Goran D. Kleut, Tess Haubrich, Javier Botet, Lorelei King

Crisp Criticism - "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Free Fire", "Get Out", "The Zookeeper's Wife"

by

Julien Faddoul

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 *

The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill’s true parentage.

Energetically staged Marvel entry with some stunning visual effects. But we are still stuck in a pit of stagnation here with these movies, which cannot disguise any of the flaws that are intrinsic to their mere existence. The jokes are bad, the plot is flimsy and the performers seem bored.

wd – James Gunn   (Based on the Characters Created by Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning, Steve Englehart, Steve Gan, Jim Starlin, Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, Jack Kirby, Bill Mantlo, Keith Giffen)

ph – Henry Braham

pd – Scott Chambliss

m – Tyler Bates

ed – Fred Raskin, Craig Wood

cos – Judianna Makovsky

p – Kevin Feige

Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, Karen Gillan, Michael Rooker, Pom Klementieff, Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone, Sean Gunn, Elizabeth Debicki, Tommy Flanagan, Michael Rosenbaum

Crisp Criticism - "Going in Style", "Colossal", "Table 19"

by

Julien Faddoul

Going in Style

Desperate to pay the bills and come through for their loved ones, three lifelong pals risk it all by embarking on a daring bid to knock off the very bank that absconded with their money.

A lazy pile of garbage: A remake of the 70s comedy with lethargic performances, preposterous situations and unfunny jokes, all directed by one of the least talented people in showbusiness.

d – Zach Braff

w – Theodore Melfi   (Based on the Story by Edward Cannon)

ph – Rodney Charters

pd – Anne Ross

m – Rob Simonsen

ed – Myron I. Kerstein

cos – Gary Jones

p – Donald De Line

Cast: Morgan Freeman Michael Caine Alan Arkin Joey King Matt Dillon Ann-Margret Maria Dizzia Christopher Lloyd Siobhan Fallon John Ortiz Peter Serafinowicz Kenan Thompson Josh Pais

Crisp Criticism - "The Fate of the Furious", "CHIPS", "Their Finest", "Personal Shopper"

by

Julien Faddoul

The Fate of the Furious

When a mysterious woman seduces Dom into the world of crime and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew face trials that will test them as never before.

The worst of the series so far, falling deeper into the hole of systematic influence by the Hollywood cinema surrounding it. The characters and their relationships to one another now make no sense, and the car stunts never rise above the ordinary.

d – F. Gary Gray

w – Chris Morgan   (Based on the Characters by Gary Scott Thompson)

ph – Stephen F. Windon

pd – Bill Brzeski

m – Brian Tyler

ed – Paul Rubell, Christian Wagner

cos – Sanja Milkovic Hays

p – Vin Diesel, Neal H. Moritz, Michael Fottrell, Chris Morgan

Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Helen Mirren, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Nathalie Emmanuel, Kristofer Hivju, Elsa Pataky