Crisp Criticism - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales", "John Wick: Chapter 2", "Baywatch", "It’s Only the End of the World"

by

Julien Faddoul

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon.

An already utterly boring series of films has reached here an even lower level of dullness. Not only does it contain zero originality, but nadir fun and excitement. The most concerning aspect here is Depp, who now delivers his lines and expressions with so little energy and dignity that it’s laughable.

d – Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg

w – Jeff Nathanson, Terry Rossio   (Based on the Characters Created by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert)

ph – Paul Cameron

pd – Nigel Phelps

m – Geoff Zanelli

ed – Roger Barton, Leigh Folsom Boyd

cos – Penny Rose

p – Jerry Bruckheimer

Cast: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally, Stephen Graham, Golshifteh Farahani, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom, Martin Klebba

John Wick: Chapter 2 **

After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.

A sequel that expands the world of the original, and thus gets a little bogged down in its own bric-a-brac. But the combat sequences – both gunplay and hand-to-hand – remain ingenious throughout, including an unabashedly Wellesian climax. Like the first film, the world of underground hitmen/hitwomen that is created here persistently fascinates.

d – Chad Stahelski

w – Derek Kolstad

ph – Dan Laustsen

pd – Kevin Kavanaugh

m – Tyler Bates, Joel J. Richard

ed – Evan Schiff

cos – Luca Mosca

p – Basil Iwanyk, Erica Lee

Cast: Keanu Reeves, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, John Leguizamo, Ian McShane, Lance Reddick, Bridget Moynahan, Thomas Sadoski, David Patrick Kelly, Peter Stormare, Franco Nero, Peter Serafinowicz, Claudia Gerini, Perry Yung

Baywatch

Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon butts-heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.

Truly horrible: Unfunny, repulsively shot (with hideous CG greenscreen), a confused tone and a cast each giving their worst performances of their careers, particularly the two stars. Stay the hell away.

d – Seth Gordon

w – Jay Scherick, David Ronn, Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant, Damian Shannon, Mark Swift   (Based on the TV Series Created by Michael Berk, Douglas Schwartz, Gregory J. Bonann)

ph – Eric Steelberg

pd – Shepherd Frankel

m – Christopher Lennertz

ed – Peter S. Elliot

cos – Dayna Pink

p – Michael Berk, Gregory J. Bonann, Beau Flynn, Ivan Reitman, Douglas Schwartz

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Priyanka Chopra, Ilfenesh Hadera, Rob Huebel, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, John Cenatiempo

It’s Only the End of the World

A terminally ill writer returns home after a long absence to tell his family that he is dying.

Yet another childish, gay-themed melodramatic family drama from a director whose talents I have yet to grasp. This offering is even more shrill than usual.

wd – Xavier Dolan   (Based on the Play by Jean-Luc Lagarce)

ph – Andre Turpin

pd – Colombe Raby

m – Gabriel Yared

ed – Xavier Dolan

p – Sylvain Corbeil, Xavier Dolan, Nancy Grant, Elisha Karmitz, Nathanaël Karmitz, Michel Merkt

Cast: Gaspard Ulliel, Vincent Cassel, Marion Cotillard, Nathalie Baye, Léa Seydoux